Lee Van Leer...
Won a Lott Tree (wha?)
Is dating a Kardashian
Was dating a Manoogian
Fellated a stallion at the Crispy Ranch
Is hoarding first-year Pontiac Bonnevilles (that's 1957)
Has six fingers on each hand
Wrote a novella with a nearly-unpronounceable title
Wishes he'd never...
Wished he had...
...danced on the Qwerty at Burlingame
is leaving for Garden City, Kansas NOW!